If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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