my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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