beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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