i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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