Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
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So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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