she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize