Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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