whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize