I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My friends, they love my intelligence
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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