Sry I called you an 8
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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