just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
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The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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