if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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