How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize