I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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