I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize