...so i touched it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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