You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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