Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
is it fun? or sober?
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