Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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