Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize