why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize