life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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