Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
True strength comes from lack of pants
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