In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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