So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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