come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize