Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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