I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize