i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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