dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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