So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize