Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize