i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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