I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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