He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize