Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
4 words: hood of his car
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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