There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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two words: eviction party
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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