I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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