It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize