im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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