You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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