My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize