Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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