so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
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Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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