Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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