I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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