my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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