why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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