Sponge bath it is.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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