And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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